"Inconceivable!?!": A Princess Bride Review

The Princess Bride (1987)

A classic fairy tale, with swordplay, giants, an evil prince, a beautiful princess, and yes, some kissing (as read by a kindly grandfather) (IMDb).

St. Kunta the Pious: 7/10

I am going to try my best not to let my nostalgia and love for this movie take me away to land of false high ratings… That being said, it’s going to be really hard since this is one of favorite movies of all time.

Quite literally my reaction when we were gonna watch this movie

And it is not like the movie doesn’t deserve this, because in many ways it is a great movie. I simply don’t want to talk up the movie with nothing but my own whimsy as substance.

This movie does something that really hurts any basis of criticism by attributing the story to a storybook. Not that it exempts the movie from being bad, but you can forego the necessary scrutiny of realism once you know the movie is based around a fantasy story. For some reason that works for me and if more movies dismissed reality like this early on I would probably have less qualms with them.

I just hate when things don't seem to fit together the right way

First of all, I want to point out just how damn charming this movie is. The dialogue, although delivered sometime in a fast-paced awkward fashion, is great to keep up with. You have a group of very charming actors who are speaking forward yet pleasant throughout the whole movie. One of our reviewers commented that this movie is “so quotable” I think it is because of the great way the dialogue plays out throughout the movie.

Not only this but you can imagine that they realized this and practiced dialogue throughout the delivering of the movie. The witty banter and remarks throughout the movie really keep you engaged. You see so many examples of jokes simply through delvery of lines, like the hilarious part where they go visit Miracle Max and every other thing that Billy Crystal says is a joke, and a good joke at that! Or when the wedding is going to start and you get the priest who pronounces love like “WUV.” The movie used this otherwise seemingly stupid delivery in a way that really gave benefit to the experience.

Another plus is the moral system in this movie. You have a group of character with a various mix of complex beliefs and morals which is refreshing. Inigo, for instance, is bent on revenge for his murdered father yet doesn’t believe that killing a girl is right. I feel like many movies these days don’t blur the line like this and go for strict dichotomies concerning morality, which is not realistic. This movie has a group of individuals who each will go to different extents to accomplish what they want to do; they may kill one person and leave another alive depending on the situation. No random killing for no reason and that is refreshing.

One of the only things that get me somewhat out of the movie is the huge emphasis on “True Love.” And I am not going to pretend like this is not because I am a bitter lonely person, that’s exactly why… “Death cannot stop true love,” no… just no… It also just seems to me like “True Love” was a scapegoat back in the day that writers used to simplify plot. I mean the man in black literally goes through hell for this chick that is pretty, I mean she’s really really pretty, but damn man this guy’s is going all out, he even dies, for this chick when she obviously wanted the D from the very beginning.

Who does she think she is kidding?

There are also some awkward moments with the dialogue that require some extra attention to pick up the gist of the conversation. Sometimes it seems like the acting is a bit lackluster and the lines are somewhat rushed. Which doesn't hinder the movie completely, but are problems nonetheless.

My favorite parts have to be the old hag, who gave me nightmares as a child, and every damn time Andre the Giant is on screen. The man is a legend and his role in this movie is just great as a humble giant. 

Rufio: 9/10

The Princess Bride is a classic romance, adventure, and comedy that I enjoy watching every time.

There are many great characters. Andre the Giant plays a gentle giant. Vizzini is the overconfident mastermind, who gets what’s coming to him. INCONCEIVABLE! The prince succeeds in being a pompous douche. The six-fingered man is sufficiently evil and conniving. The albino in the Pit of Despair is creepy.

In my opinion, the best character is Inigo Montoya, a master swordsman, who just wants to avenge his father. He did not forgive and he definitely did not forget. He combats struggles with alcohol and self-doubt and succeeds to slay his father's murderer. Also, watching now I realized that he looked very familiar, until j realized that be was Gideon in Criminal Minds. I always enjoy seeing familiar actors in their early roles. Westley is a close second as the farmboy turned master swordsman and pirate, who wants to be reunited with his true love. The scene in which these two fight is epic. They fight to a near standstill with both their off and natural hands, while exchanging witty banter.

The Princess Bride is an extremely quotable movie:

· "Get used to disappointment"
· "You put down your rock, I put down my sword and we both try to kill each other like civilized people"
· "Death cannot stop true love"
· "I'm not the Dread Pirate Roberts, my name is Ryan"
· "It would take a miracle"
· "To the pain"

are just a few. But without a shadow of a doubt, the absolute best line is "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die." Inigo repeats it over and over again, getting into the six-fingered man’s head as he kills him. It was sweet.

Sam: 6/10

Like The Goonies, I had only seen the Princess Bride once before, and don't really hold any great nostalgia for it. But I liked this much better than the Goonies. One of the things that makes the Princess Bride good is the fact that it is so quotable: “No more rhymes now, I mean it.  Anybody want a peanut?” “Inconceivable” “Mawage, Mawage is wat bwings us togeder” and the like. I also really liked how the movie was set up, with the story within the story, it was a nice way to mix things up. Now with all this being said, I was falling asleep during the movie, and had trouble staying awake, so this may affect my review, or maybe it was my brain’s way of telling me it was boring, but I think not. Overall, I liked it, but its not really near the top of my list of favorite movies.

El Mapache Marylandino: 7/10

The merits of this movie come not in the plot which is ordinary and at times slow but in the conversation and interaction between characters in the movie. Most of these involve the Dread Pirate Roberts and the three henchmen Vizzini, Fezzik, and Inigo Montoya. Both Montoya and Fezzik show great sportsmanship as they allow the Dread Pirate a chance to catch his breath and engage in a fight that offers each man a fair chance. No doubt I was routing for DPR but Fezzik should not have lost that battle of strength.

The interactions between grandfather and grandson, although few, added to the overall development of the plot. Most can certainly relate to being told a story by either our parents or grandparents as we interject our opinions or commentary.

This movie is one of the most quotable ones that I have come across. I realize now that many references and quotes that I have heard come from this movie. From something as simple as the shoutings of “Inconceivable” to Wesley’s comment to Humperdink “You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.” the movie is rich with hilarious and unpredictable interactions.

They could have selected a better name for the princess than Buttercup. I mean certainly she builds Wesley up only to let him down when she messes around and lets him go without saying how she feels. He has to know, though, that she won’t build him up only to break his heart even if her name weren't Buttercup. 

Common Plebeian: 6.5/10

The main word I have for this movie is boring. Even the action scenes were kind of flat. Only the last ¼ of the movie was somewhat exciting.

Note on the beginning: Any farm boy who is even remotely close to doing his job properly, would not have perfect hair. That is all.

Issues with Buttercup:

This isn’t the Powerpuff Girls (but maybe it should have been, because Buttercup was a badass; this Buttercup is consistently dull) and she isn’t a pet cat, so the name is stupid. Next, she is useless, from the opening scene on. She is just boring and helpless (the only exception- her jumping off the boat to swim away unsuccessfully). Yes, this is the quintessential cookie-cutter role of a princess in distress, but it is boring. Of course she has a purpose, but what interest and dynamic does she bring to the table? Westley seems to be the only one driven to take action in response to this true love. This is a very one-sided tale of true love if you ask me.

My list of pros is concise, yet substantial. The characters of The Princess Bride are quite relatable. Everyone has something/someone that lights his/her inner fire and everyone (besides the lackluster Buttercup) goes to the moon and back in his/her quest.

The best element of this film is the witty humor. The Monty-Python-esque banter is top notch and all movies can use this one as a standard. It works into the storyline seamlessly and I probably need to watch the movie many more times before catching everything.

My favorite characters were Inigo Montoya, Vizzini, and Miracle Max. Inigo Montoya demonstrates the inner fire that far too many people (like Buttercup) lack in this world. Vizzini exhibits hilarious frustrations that remind me of George Costanza. Finally, every word Miracle Max utters is packed with wit, humor, and sarcasm, making him one of the most likeable characters in the film. If only the main characters could be as interesting and animated. Even Westley was pretty plain and lifeless.

-CP (БК)

Total: 35.5/50

Average: 7.1